Nowadays, the sanctity of marriage does not have the same eternal ring of the past. As unpredictable as a game of blackjack, marriage has also become a gamble with half ending in divorce. And, to be honest, sometimes winning at a casino comes easier than making a marriage last a lifetime.
Claire was shocked to discover that her Mr. Perfect had a big secret that he’d been keeping from her during their four year relationship… it caused her to call off the wedding of her dreams, only one week before the big day.
A Hopeless Romantic
A hopeless romantic, Claire had spent her entire life dreaming of Mr. Right. But, after countless years of what had felt like one disastrous relationship after another, she was losing all hope in finding her soulmate. Claire had convinced herself that she would be single for the rest of her life, living alone as an old woman with her nine cats.
An Unexpected Encounter
Out of the blue, when Claire had least expected it, with the possibility of finding love as the last thing on her mind, she had experienced for the first time in her life, love at first sight. After a chance of encounter with the man of her dreams, Claire felt like she was on cloud nine. Claire felt an inexplicable connection to the stranger that had overwhelmed all her senses.
Claire, a strikingly beautiful 21 year old, grew up in a traditional household with religion playing a big role in her life. As a young girl, she had always dreamed of a relationship that was guided by her religious morals and values. So, when Mr. Perfect was thrown in to her lap, she saw it as divine intervention at its finest. After only the first date, she had known he was the one.
Popped The Question
Both faithful members of the Church of Latter Day Saints, Claire spent four years with her beau, attending religious services together and often embarking on spontaneous, romantic trips. When Joseph (real name not disclosed for privacy reasons) popped the question, without a doubt in her mind, Claire said yes! Joseph had been her knight in shiny armor. He was someone she had wholeheartedly trusted, and she was certain she knew everything about her future husband, but boy, was she wrong…
Preparing For The Big Day
Claire Dalton spent a wonderful six months with a diamond ring on her finger. She spent that time preparing for the most important day in her life. The most memorable experience for Claire was when she put on her modest, yet timeless wedding dress. Claire imagined the look on Joseph’s face the first time he laid eyes on the dress as she walked down the aisle, but little to her knowing, he was far too busy looking at something else …
He Was Hiding Something
“I’m THAT girl that spent 6 months with a ring on her finger,” she wrote. “That girl that planned an entire wedding, only to find out a week prior it was all a lie.” Now, it’s kind of a given that when you get engaged you know pretty much everything there is to know about the person. But Claire says she had no idea about her now ex-fiance’s secret, which completely went against her idea of love being “true and pure” and “governed by God’s law.”
As the wedding approached, things were a bit chaotic as Claire attempted to finalized loose ends. Claire and Joseph were running errands for their big day and she asked him to use his phone to check store hours for a shop. As Claire opened his search window, she discovered images that will haunt her for the rest of her life.
The Shocking Discovery
Claire discovered explicit images and videos of naked porn stars in sexual acts. Joseph had been looking at pornography just hours before he had met his future wife. In shock, Claire’s hands trembled as she still had her fiance’s phone in her hands, almost dropping it on the ground.
Sick To Her Stomach
Claire felt an uneasiness and panic consume her, she felt weak in the knees, as she looked down at the explicit images. Utterly horrified and disgusted with the discovery, she also found several more tabs open on his phone that contained some less-than-PG images. Claire claimed her soon to be husband had been watching porn and that he had “multiple windows open of sick and twisted ideas of what women supposedly look like.”
Admitting The Problem
“I felt sick to my stomach,” Claire admitted. “The coldest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life is the lying eyes of the man I love, gazing deep into my soul as multiple lies rolled from his lips.” He knew it was all a lie, but for some reason, he could look at the woman he claimed to love so dearly straight in her eyes, and lie to her face. “I never knew until that moment how unconsciously cold a single person could be.” Finally, her ex admitted to having a problem with porn.
In her blog, Love What Matters, Claire shared her ordeal and the array of emotions she had felt from what she considered the biggest lie and betrayal of her life. “I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kick and punch the wall,” she wrote. At first, she thought it was some sick joke. It never occurred to her that pornography addiction would ever be an issue in her life or affect her in such a deep and excruciating way.
Claire did not try to understand her fiance’s porn obsession nor did she want to support him in finding help, but instead, she kicked him to the curb. She said it wasn’t so much the porn which was the problem, but the fact that he’d lied about it for years. After hearing him admit the truth, Claire decided, without a blink of the eye, to call off the wedding.
The Embarrassing Call
Claire said her ex-fiance’s porn addiction hadn’t just ruined his life, but also the lives of those around him. With their extravagant wedding catering to over 300 guests cancelled, they called every single one of them. Not only did they tell them the wedding was cancelled, but the actual reason for it: Joseph’s porn addiction.
But, the aftermath of the breakup proved to be utterly devastating for Claire. She thought she had the perfect man by her side and looked forward to spending the rest of her life with him, but within minutes, all her lifelong dreams shattered like broken glass. The only thing that helped her get through the stressful time was to continue writing her experiences in her blog.
She Was To Blame
“I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Everything felt lonely. Everything reminded me of him. Everything made me feel overwhelmingly sick to my stomach. I felt traumatized. I felt worthless. And I felt incredibly afraid.” Thinking she would receive support and advice from readers of her blog, Claire was in for a big surprise when she was left feeling at fault, and Joseph, as the sad victim.
As she tried to heal from the horrible breakup, it didn’t help when hateful comments continued minute by minute from different social media users all over the world. Claire’s post received thousands and thousands of comments slamming her for dropping her fiance for watching porn, so she decided to post to the forum again. But this time, she wanted to explain why it wasn’t her job to fix his “addiction.”
The Same As Cheating
Claire explained that although Joseph did not physically cheat on her, his porn obsession was if not the same, possibly worse. She had been lied to and kept in the dark for years. It had made her feel worthless and unlovable. She says that pornography addiction affects the people around you, and it’s only so long before the truth is going to come out. There are hundreds of statistics on how harmful pornography is on the brain, relationships, and the world.
To All The Haters
She addressed the haters who accused her of running away from her problems. “But to those who think I ‘jumped ship,’ you’re right, I did. Because when someone in an engagement decides to violate God’s laws, honesty doesn’t exist. And neither does love. At that point, because we were not yet married, it was not my job to ‘fix him.’ It’s his job to fix himself.”
Blasted For Overreacting
But, the haters weren’t buying her godly approach to the breakup. “She doesn’t want people judging her but she just judged everyone who doesn’t believe in God,” one person wrote. “He saw porn. She cancelled their wedding. One of those is a massive overreaction.” And another commenter wrote, “despite her Bible thumping, she clearly does not understand how the concept of forgiveness works.”
Does She Regret Leaving Him?
Although Claire is still trying to heal from the worst breakup of her life, and more so, the hateful comments from users blaming her for overreacting, she looks to God to help her in the humiliating ordeal. Claire does not regret kicking her fiancé to the curb, but she does regret wasting four years of her life with someone she sees as a complete phony.