How well do you handle stress in your relationship? Disagreements between couples are a normal part of a healthy relationship but what happens when the argument becomes too unbearable to handle?
In an argument between Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher and his girlfriend Kasandra, Javon found himself pushed over the edge into a decision he would deeply regret and one that would change his life forever…
Jovan and Kasandra had a young bright 3-month old daughter together who they worked very hard to provide a home for. On a cold December Saturday, they decided they deserved a night off from parenting. It was something that all parents deserve and need, and they were ready to make the most of their mini-vacation.
Too Much Freedom!
While Jovan’s mother watched over their sleeping daughter, Jovan and Kasandra relaxed a bit and went out with each of their friends for their night off. They each had their fun, Jovan even had a few drinks over the course of the evening. Perhaps though, they loosened up a little too much…
Late Night Party Animals
As the night ended and reality settled in, Jovan again called home half drunkenly to check up on his daughter. He found out that his girlfriend had stayed out too late and was angry at her for her carelessness. At the time though, he was too intoxicated to do anything about it either.
Safe and Sound
Fueled with anger, Jovan could not do anything about the fact that his girlfriend wasn’t around. He too was far too intoxicated to drive down there and help his child. All he could do was sleep off his drunkenness in his car. Only once the morning came and his drunkenness ebbed away, could he finally drive home to confront his seemingly careless girlfriend.
Nap Time Over
When Jovan arrived home, one of the first things he did was charge into the master bedroom where his girlfriend and baby girl were sleeping. Shouting and harsh language quickly ensued, and words got pretty nasty. It was a knock-down, drag-out argument of the highest order. “You can’t talk to me like that!” she yelled.
Break the Silence
Without warning, Jovan pulled a gun on Kasandra and fired. The room echoed with the loud bang of the powder exploding as the gun went off with a single shot. As the noise faded, all that was left was a loud ringing followed by an empty silence in the bedroom…
His shocked mother watched him pack a bag while apologizing profusely. He knew he had done something wrong but needed to leave. He kissed his daughter on the forehead and then drove away without saying a word about his where he was going.
A Shower Would Have Helped
As Jovan drove, the monumental consequence and permanence of his actions started to set in. He drove to the only place he felt familiar: the football stadium where he practiced with his friends and teammates. Still disheveled and distressed by his own violence, he bumped into his general manager Scott…
On the brink of a breakdown in their stadium’s parking lot, Jovan confessed everything to his mentor, “I did it. I killed her.” His guilt and mental strain had caught up with him. He broke down then, and all the words he’d spoken, and all of the things he had done wrong that day, all came to light. He confessed everything.
When he had finished confessing, not knowing what else to do, Jovan sobbed and pointed the gun to his own head. Desperately, his mentor tried to get him to put the gun down, there had already been one life lost that morning. He begged him to understand that his baby girl still had at least one parent left in the world and he needed to be strong for her…
As they sat in the parking lot, his mentor continually tried to get Jovan to understand that his life was not over, to make him understand what was left. He still had a chance to get his situation worked out, a slim chance…a very slim chance, but the point was that not all hope in his life was lost.
Jovan did not seem to be swayed. He still panicked and sobbed uncontrollably while his mentor tried to wrest the gun away from him. Meanwhile, time was running out. His mother had called the police about the attack in her home and, despite her great love for her son, about the man who had killed Kasandra. They were on the hunt for him…
The Great Escape
The stand-off between Jovan and his coach came to an end only when the whirring sounds of sirens could be heard in the distance. He told his couch, “Guys, I have to do this. I have to go. I can’t be here.” There was no where else for him to go, however, and the approaching police only served to create more panic and fear in he believed himself to be capable of.
Jovan stepped behind his car, and prayed one last time, asking for forgiveness for what he had done. Slowly, with the sirens and lights blaring all around him, approaching, he raised the gun to his head and pulled the trigger at point blank. The shot echoed in the same way as the one that had killed Kasandra, and his lifeless body fell behind the car…
Shock of the week
His mentor, helpless in the car, watched as Jovan took his own life in the mirror with his one shot. His friends, and family were shocked by his actions. Everything had been so senseless, had happened so fast. As the news came in, his mother was at a loss, having lost her son after witnessing a murder in her home and caring for a now orphaned girl.
Tomorrow Never Came
Kasandra’s family was devastated by Jovan’s actions as well.The two of them had a baby and they could afford to raise their daughter and be ok. They had plans and dreams for their daughter, they had trusted Jovan, but that was all over now. Everything, their financial stability, his promising football career, it was all gone in a blink of an eye….
While we can never know what fully went through his head that night, what pushed him, what cracked within him and caused him to break, we can get a feel for him from those he left behind. Everyone has moments of being hot headed but no one would have suspected that his rage would be so great that he murdered her in cold blood.
Nothing Really Matters
His break cost him everything. The moment of hostility toward Kassandra had cost him whatever life he would have had. Had he survived to be caught life would have changed forever. Having murdered Kasandra he would have been behind bars for years to come, and would have likely lost his career with the sport he loved.
Clock Strikes 12
Worst of all, he lost milestones. Not his, those aren’t what matters in situation like this. His daughter lost all his daughters. Behind bars he would have missed her first word, her first steps, probably even her first day at school, everything that matters to a parent. Stories like this should serve as a lesson for most of us and remind us how important it is to stay calm, and seek help when we need it.
The Sad End
Sadly his poor little girl will be growing up without a mother or a father. And while she still has her grandma, the life of their small child will never be the same. One day her grandparents will have to explain to her what happened in their home, and to her parents. With any luck she will take it well, but if she doesn’t, hopefully she will have all the support she needs to move on and be ok.